Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Should I share my recovery story with my patients?

SHOULD I SHARE MY RECOVERY STORY WITH MY PATIENTS?

I work with patients everyday who suffer from many addictions---meth, heroin, prescription pain meds, alcohol, cannabis, cocaine, crack....but I struggle with telling them my story. Would it be an inspiration or would they judge me as a psychiatrist in the "well she partied her way through medical school and residency--how much can she know?" Also, there are a few of us "in recovery" who I work with. We found each other but I don't know if they use their recovery stories when they meet with patients (nether are psychiatrists). Recently I treated this 60 something lady, who although had money coming in every month, was living down by the river, homeless, and using her income to buy alcholol. She was beat up by two men and ended up in our hospital. She never could stay sober more than a few weeks her whole life. We got her into a rehab but at the last minute she changed her mind and said she wasn't going. We offered to get her into assisted living (where you cannot drink) but she declined. Everytime I met with her we talked about her alcoholism and how great a new, sober life would be for her. She asked for a hug after each of our meeting and I'd say, "You deserve to be sober." Now I wish I had said, "I never thought I could do it in a million years, but here I am 22 years clean and sober." I don't know if it would have changed the outcome but I regret not telling her. It is hard for physicians in recovery, although we're out there; some are out of the closet, and some like me, are lurking and hiding in there. I am also afraid if the "big wigs" find out I'm telling patients personal stuff,  I will get into trouble. I don't have a private practice yet, but work for a corporaton-like hospital. Right now I'm not quite ready to leap out of my dark, dingy closet..just yet.

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